So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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