sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
