When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize