I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
