Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
