Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
