She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
