do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
