i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
