Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
being pregnant is like rehab
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
