That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
