Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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