Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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