awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
