i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
