Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
