someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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