grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
