I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The air was thick with penises
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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