So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
