it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
