I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
