Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
