i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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