Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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