Having a random hookup so left but love u
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She bit a glass in half.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
