i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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