so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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