This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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