im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
