that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
