so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
