i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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