my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
