I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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