They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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