I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
