We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
