By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
