she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
