My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
