is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you didnt know i had herpes?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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