just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
