he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
