Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
