im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
