This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
