once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
