trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
