Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
