Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
