Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
