FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
