i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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