I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize