We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize