Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
