AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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