Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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