She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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