Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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