I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I did not marry a roomba.
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