Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
