Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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