I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
