been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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