I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
