The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
